


Kindred Spirits

by allamaraine



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Discussion of Death, Female Friendship, Gen, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2149053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allamaraine/pseuds/allamaraine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beverly comforts Alyssa after her friend's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kindred Spirits

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glitteratiglue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteratiglue/gifts).



With a contented sigh, Beverly sank onto the sofa, curling one leg underneath her and cradling her cup of hot tea. Before taking a sip, she simply enjoyed the comforting scent of chamomile wafting around her. She looked outside her window at the star field flying past, marveling at how mundane such a view had become to her now. What she could really use was a good old-fashioned thunderstorm. One never realized how much weather would be missed until it was no longer there. Oh sure, there were the holodecks, but what good was a _planned_ thunderstorm?

The door chimed.

“Come in.”

The door slid open to reveal Alyssa Ogawa, clutching a white package. Her jaw was set resolutely, an expression Beverly instantly recognized. She had seen it on Alyssa many times before during a difficult surgery or when they were about to beam down to a plagued planet or, once, in a heated argument with Dr. Selar. Beverly quickly stood. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Always ready for a medical emergency, as a precaution she added, “Do you need me in sickbay?” 

The young nurse shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s –” She hesitated to say anything more, realizing that Beverly was dressed for bed. “I’m sorry, Doctor. I didn’t mean to intrude. It’s nothing. I’ll come back another time.” Alyssa made a move to scoot back through the open doorway.

Beverly smiled, “You’re not intruding at all.” She sat back down and patted the cushion next to her. “Please, have a seat.” 

Alyssa said, “Thank you, Doctor,” but remained where she was.

“Alyssa, we’re off duty. You can call me Beverly.”

“Yes. Of course. Beverly.” She smiled apologetically and came over to sit tentatively on the edge of the sofa. The door shut with a gentle swoosh. “It takes some getting used to.”

“Don’t I know it? I still have trouble remembering to call Dr. Quaice Dalen, never mind that we’ve known each other for years and that I eventually became _his_ boss.” She studied Alyssa’s serious face for a moment before asking, “Would you like some tea?” 

“Oh! Um, no thank you. If you want to know the truth, I actually don’t like tea all that much.”

Beverly grinned, “Don’t let the captain hear you say that. He might throw you into the brig.”

Alyssa’s normally quick, bright smile faltered and Beverly immediately regretted the poorly-timed joke. Hastily, she offered Alyssa something else: coffee, hot chocolate, milk? Alyssa politely declined, made a few feeble attempts at small talk, and then went silent.

Beverly sipped her tea, waited. It wasn’t hard to guess the reason behind Alyssa’s late-night appearance on her doorstep: Sito Jaxa. The loss of any crew member was always hard, but the young Bajoran’s death had particularly taken a toll on the crew. Jean-Luc had spent their past few breakfasts silently brooding, Worf had cancelled his mok’bara class for the next couple of weeks, instead spending all his free time fighting off violent holo-adversaries, and Deanna had felt so overwhelmed by the emotions bombarding her that for the first time in a long while, she needed sedatives to be able to sleep at night. Beverly, for her part, felt a pang of guilt course through her whenever she thought of Sito. She had thought that she had gotten over the anger and disappointment she felt towards the members of Nova Squadron, but if she was honest with herself, maybe she had acted a bit colder towards Sito than she should have. By far though, the most affected were Sito’s tight-knit group of friends, which included Alyssa.

Finally the young woman spoke, fiddling with the ribbon around the box in her lap. “I got a call this morning from Counselor Troi. She was going through Jaxa’s things to send back to her family and found this. There was a card with it, addressed to me. Or rather, me and Andrew. I only told her about our engagement a couple of days before –” She paused, swallowed, and looked distractedly out the window. Beverly reached out and rested a hand on Alyssa’s knee, in silent encouragement. Alyssa smoothed out the ribbon she’d managed to crinkle and carefully set the package on the coffee table, next to Beverly’s tea. She bit her lower lip to keep from crying. “I’m a nurse. I’ve seen people die before. Held their hands. Talked to their families afterwards. This shouldn’t be so hard.”

“Just because we practice medicine, doesn’t mean we’re any more immune to grief than everyone else. Especially when it comes to the people we love. It took me a long time to learn and accept that.” She took both of Alyssa’s hands in her own, looked into her eyes, and said, very firmly, “You are a nurse, yes, and a damn good one, but you are also human.”

Alyssa squeezed Beverly’s hands in thanks before pulling away. “If only I weren’t,” she said, half-seriously, “Days like this, I envy Commander Data.”

Beverly nodded sympathetically. She rather suspected they’d all had those days, though she also knew Data would be the first to object, insisting that their envy was unwarranted. He couldn’t experience friendship the same way the rest of the crew did – or so he thought. Personally, she was of the opinion that Data felt more than anyone, including himself, gave him credit for. But then, she was a physician, not a cyberneticist. Either way, she certainly understood the appeal of being able to switch off your emotions when they became inconvenient. 

Alyssa continued, her voice rising as she went. “I knew the dangers of Starfleet coming in, and so did Jaxa, probably more than anyone. I know why she felt she had to take that assignment. ‘She was so brave.’ Everyone keeps saying that, as if that makes it all okay. But it doesn’t! Now there is always going to be an empty seat at our poker table. Her bravery doesn’t change that or the fact that she won’t be at my wedding, that she’ll never get to see the volcanoes and beaches of Hawai’i like I promised her, that she won’t ever have the chance to be Chief of Security or help rebuild her home world. I just wish we she had had more time.” Then, softer, “I wish we’d had more time. We only knew each other a few months, but it was as if we had been friends our whole lives, you know?”

Beverly did know. She thought of Deanna and the first time they met. Beverly hadn’t needed Deanna’s empathic abilities to know they were going to become swift friends. Some friendships were just like that. 

“Kindred spirits,” Beverly murmured.

“Kindred spirits! Yes! That's exactly what I was thinking of... there's this book I read when I was younger, _Anne of Green Gables_. It was one of my favorite books growing up, but I haven't found too many other people who've read it or even heard of it. Have you?” 

“Of course,” said Beverly, gesturing towards her hair, “I was naturally of the opinion that any book with a little red-headed girl in it was clearly superior to all other books. I insisted that Nana read it to me all the time.” The levity in her voice vanished as she added, “Especially after my parents died. Anne was … reassuring to me. She still is.”

Beverly asked Alyssa to wait there for one moment, got up and disappeared into her bedroom. She returned with an old, old copy of _Anne of Green Gables_. The dust jacket had long ago fallen off, the corners were bent, and the pages were yellowed. She sat down again and handed it to Alyssa, who ran her fingers across the embossed title. Opening to the middle of the book, where there were a series of glossy illustrated plates, she studied the colorful images of a freckled orphan girl in her awkwardly large floppy straw hat and blue gingham dress. Flipping through the first few plates, Alyssa stopped at one of Anne precariously balanced on the ridgepole of a roof. 

Alyssa read the caption: _"I must do it. My honor is at stake," said Anne solemnly.  "I shall walk that ridgepole, Diana, or perish in the attempt. If I am killed you are to have my pearl bead ring."_

With a sharp intake of breath she abruptly shut the book and tossed it onto the coffee table, much more forcefully than she intended to. She immediately began to apologize but Beverly attempted to reassure her, “No need to apologize, it’s only a book.”

“No, it’s more than that!” Alyssa said, her voice trembling and tears welling up in her eyes. “It was your favorite book and, and your parents and your Nana probably gave it to you and it’s so old maybe she got it from her Nana and –” the rest of her words became an incomprehensible babble in the midst of her crying.

Beverly felt her chest tighten at the sound of Alyssa’s grief. “Come here,” she said, gathering Alyssa into her arms.

“I miss her so much,” Alyssa sobbed, before burying her face into Beverly’s shoulder. 

“Shhhhh,” Beverly stroked Alyssa’s hair and gently rocked her back and forth. “I know, I know.” She did not say anything else, sensing that what Alyssa really needed right now was a good cry. The past few days, Alyssa had insisted on showing up for duty, despite Beverly’s offer to give her some time off. Indeed, she had been putting in extra hours, coming in early and staying in sick bay well past her shift, doing paperwork and checking on the assorted specimens in the biomedical lab. Beverly was well-acquainted with these tactics, having practiced them herself. Stay busy, busy, busy, and the realization that they’re really, truly gone could be put off for another day. Soon, however, that day caught up to you, before you were ready for it. And when it did, a Starship could be the worst place to be. Privacy was a valuable and rare commodity on the _Enterprise_ , especially if you weren’t a senior officer, and even then, there was always something to be done, some disaster to tend to. She made a mental note to offer Alyssa use of her quarters if the nurse needed to be alone and maybe some of her holodeck time as well. The Orient Express could wait.

Suddenly aware that Alyssa’s sobs had subsided, Beverly whispered Alyssa’s name questioningly. No answer. Shifting slightly, she looked down and realized that Alyssa had fallen asleep on her shoulder. Gingerly, she slid her arm out from under Alyssa, as it was beginning to tingle. Alyssa stirred at the movement and, only partially awake, maneuvered herself into a more comfortable position, using Beverly’s lap as a pillow. Beverly accepted this with a resigned, but fond, smile. Almost unconsciously, Beverly started to hum, a sweet, soft lullaby with a foggy origin somewhere in her memories. The words had long ago been lost to her, but it didn’t matter. It was the melody that was important. With a sigh, Alyssa settled back into sleep. Watching her, Beverly was achingly reminded of all those nights spent slowly soothing Wesley to sleep after Jack’s death. He had refused to let her out of his sight for weeks, sleeping in her room every night, despite having outgrown that habit several years before. The truth was, Beverly had never minded. Wesley had been as much a solace to her as she was to him.

Having reached the end of the song, Beverly started over again, only to feel her eyelids begin to droop. She irrationally resisted, telling herself that she needed to stay awake, to watch over her friend. Her last coherent thought before succumbing to sleep was a silent promise to Alyssa: _I’m here, I’m here, and everything will be all right._

 


End file.
